As my dear old Gran used to say... "There's nowt worse than a smug Mackem". Hold on, there seems to be a bit of deja vu here?

Quiz master John was happy as a sandboy, as though all of his birthdays had come at once. They had in a way, the mighty Mackems had turned over Newcastle three nil again at St James' Park in the Derby and he celebrated his 31st birthday in the same week! We seriously thought none of our teams would turn out, a meagre £10 rollover, Newcastle getting stuffed at home by Sunderland at the weekend and a Quiz Master from the dark side – why would anyone wish to subject themselves to such humiliation on a Monday night?

Our Quiz Teams are made of sterner stuff however, three derby defeats in a row for the first time in over 90 years didn't stop 11 teams from turning out to take any abuse our likeable host could dish out! This show of defiance took the Cash Prize on offer for the night to a reasonable £49. Game on.

The Pic Round was classic moustache wearing celebs over the decades and those in the know had picked up the clue from the Quiz Preview.

There's always a clue in the Quiz Preview as to what the pics may be. This week it was "Famous people sporting, toothbrush, walrus and horseshoe varieties amongst others"

Then it was straight into General Knowledge around ten past nine which give our teams plenty time to peruse the 'tashes.

Q3 What is the common name for a long-haired bovid which inhabits the mountain pastures of central Asia?

Q9 Which Mongul emperor was the grandson of Genghis Khan?

Three of our teams knew their hairy top lips and returned outstanding 100% scores in the Pic Round, The Academy Returns, An Englishman, An Irishman But No Scotsman and Too Long, Too Dark, Not Enough Beer Stops.

The same couldn't be said for the General Knowledge where the top score came from the imaginatively named Horse Fisterers (bearing in mind events following the last 0-3 home defeat by Sunderland) with an excellent nine.

Leading us into the Music Round we had Horse Fisterers and Too Long, Too Dark, Not Enough Beer Stops on 20 with The Academy Returns hovering on 18. 

Music was tough, we had questions ranging from the 60's to last year so teams need a wide age range to do well. Best efforts this week were To Me To You DLT (Idiots), She & Him, Too Long, Too Dark, Not Enough Beer Stops and Don't You Just Love A Smug Mackem! on sevens.

Q12 Kiss, released in 2012, is which singers second studio album?

Q20 Bob Wills and his Texas Playboys recorded the original version of which (Rednex) 1994 line-dancing number one?

We had Too Long, Too Dark, Not Enough Beer Stops leading us into half time snacks on 27, two points clear of Horse Fisterers on 25 with To Me To You DLT (Idiots) and Don't You Just Love A Smug Mackem! both on 23.

Snacks were outstanding again, real Wotsits (the most delectable, melt in the mouth cheesy savoury!) and Bacon Rashers complimented with Thai Chilli Bubble Chips… a veritable snack feast, worth the £1 entry fee alone.

On to Sports, which is usually the leveller. Last week this weeks leaders, Too Long, Too Dark, Not Enough Beer Stops managed a record zero on sports, how would they fare this week now their sports specialist was back?

Q26 In what city did Villa win the 1982 European cup final?

Q30 Which Premiership club did Guinea International Titi Camara sign for after his exit from Liverpool in 2000?

Too Long, Too Dark, Not Enough Beer Stops did way better with a five but were well behind the medal winners. Gold went to To Me To You DLT (Idiots) with a nine, Silver went to Horse Fisterers and we had three teams tied on Bronze, The Academy Returns, Three peaks, Two Pints and Don't You Just Love A Smug Mackem! The net result being an unprecedented three teams going into the final round on equal terms!

Film & TV had To Me To You DLT (Idiots), Horse Fisterers and Too Long, Too Dark, Not Enough Beer Stops all on 32 with outsiders Don't You Just Love A Smug Mackem! on 29. So barring major stage fright from the top trio it was between them.

Q33 Which 1979 film featured a plot by the People’s Front of Judea to kidnap Pilate’s wife?

Q39 In which 2001 movie did the lead character John Nash say “This class will be a waste of yours – and what is infinitely worse – my time”? 

To Me To You DLT (Idiots) scored an excellent 9 in the round, Horse Fisterers an even better 10 and unfortunately Too Long, Too Dark, Not Enough Beer Stops just managed an eight. So even though second placed Don't You Just Love A Smug Mackem! got a joint top score of 10 it was Horse Fisterers who won the quiz with 41 points just one ahead of To Me To You DLT (Idiots) with Too Long, Too Dark, Not Enough Beer Stops on 40 then Don't You Just Love A Smug Mackem! on 39. 

Great finish and Horse Fisterers got a deserved round of applause as team member Matt chose the left of the three winning envelopes on offer from barmaid Gemma. The pub went silent waiting to find out what the slip of paper had written on it as Matt patiently unfolded it then declared Cash Prize! Fantastic, well done Matt. That's two weeks on the trot the Cash Prize has been drawn.

Up next, The Wild Card, which is open to anyone in the bar. To enter is just £1 per person and for that you get a little coloured Post-It, this week a nice dayglo orange, on which to write the answer to a single question that John reads out. The answer is a number or a date and closest to it wins all the money that's been collected in for The Wild Card. It's usually a very obscure question so it's more of an inspired guess than something you would actually know, and, as with all of the questions in The Colly Quiz, there is absolutely no Googling.  

Chris had been busy getting The Wild Card entries in while Matt was drawing the prize and after the money was counted up John announced there was £35 in cash for the closest answer to the following question, especially written for the Birthday boy after the weekends events:

Alan Pardew is breaking all sorts of records at St James’ Park. In October last year he became the first Newcastle manager to be beaten twice in a row in the Derby since 1967, and on Saturday he became the first manager of a Newcastle team to be beaten three times in row by Sunderland since Frank Watt over 90 years ago.

The Wild Card Question tonight is how many days have passed since the last time Sunderland managed three Derby wins in a row over Newcastle?

The groans had started after the first few words of the question, John had been reasonably well behaved during the evening with the odd three nil escaping now and then but this was more pain being heaped upon our mainly Newcastle supporting teams. To be fair, John would have probably got a lot worse from the Quizzers if the score had been the other way round!

The Post-It's started piling up on John's table and he asked a couple of times if everyone was in, after a few last minute rushed entries he announced that as everyone was so close he would just give the winners in reverse order. After double checking his numbers again John gave Matty as third place, just 86 days out, Three peaks, Two Pints were unlucky by being just 64 days out but they were also smart as they put two entries in and won it with another guess that was just 47 days over the answer we were looking for. So well done to the spread betting Three peaks, Two Pints that was them £35 up for a £2 stake… still well worth it though!

And that was it, Quiz 105 done. John, having thoroughly enjoyed his night, thanked everyone for coming and wrapped it up with his usual Good Night and God Bless.

We start it all again at 9pm next week, thanks to all who turned out.

The Answers: 

Click on the images for related content. 

Most of our teams got the famous people with the hairy top lips.

Q3 What is the common name for a long-haired bovid which inhabits the mountain pastures of central Asia? Yak
Q9 Which Mongul emperor was the grandson of Genghis Khan? Kublai Khan
Q12 Kiss, released in 2012, is which singers second studio album? Carly Rae Jepsen
Q20 Bob Wills and his Texas Playboys recorded the original version of which (Rednex) 1994 line-dancing number one? Cotton Eye Joe
Q26 In what city did Villa win the 1982 European cup final? Rotterdam
Q30 Which Premiership club did Guinea International Titi Camara sign for after his exit from Liverpool in 2000? West Ham
Q39 In which 2001 movie did the lead character John Nash say “This class will be a waste of yours – and what is infinitely worse – my time”? A Beautiful Mind
Q33 Which 1979 film featured a plot by the People’s Front of Judea to kidnap Pilate’s wife? Monty Python’s The Life of Brian

The Wild Card Answer:  The last Sunderland treble over Newcastle was completed 22 December 1923 with a 2-0 win at St James’ Park which is exactly… 32,914 Days (that’s 4,702 Weeks)

Posted
AuthorGraham